It's Saturday, and I love staying home on this day to catch up on housework. I usually wash the sheets, do more laundry than anyone should ever have to do; but I get it done. Sometimes. A bottle of cupcake wine sounds fabulous about now though.
Now, you would think something horrendous happened. Such as my husband came home from work and saw that the house was messy, and the beds were not made. That didn't happen. However, my house still isn't clean, and the beds are still unmade.
I was though being slightly productive and moving clothes from the washer to the dryer; then I realized I need to rinse half of the sheets in the washer again. I always add too much washing powder. I can't help it! I want them to be extra clean! Before anyone says anything yes, I know it can build up, blah blah blah. I get it. This time, though I didn't care. I looked out the window, and there it was.
Now there have been many times we have had animals show up at our house, we do live out in the country in the middle of nowhere. Such as a miniature horse (that no one claimed I might add) and recently a pig named Biscuit (we found his rightful owners). Jon has even spotted a pretty nice bobcat and many deer on his game cameras. We have goats that wander too (those are ours).
No, nothing like this around this time. It was a, wait for it......SNAKE! By now your thinking, wow really Ashleigh. I thought that maybe a giraffe showed up or even a family of puppies. Not so lucky. I am pretty sure I would have rather a giraffe show up or even an elephant. It was a black snake sitting right outside my laundry room window close to the husbands truck. Of course, I was watching it like a hawk. I called my father-in-law, who was at the time in the woods with my kid. So I then continued to watch its head go up and down. The dryer was even scaring me as it was tumbling by now.
See, take a look at it. Doesn't it look nasty, like Satan in the tree?! The picture is horrible; I made it through the window. Yeah right like I was going to go outside and take a picture of it like I was doing a photo shoot. Of course, I send it to the husband and tell him I wish I were good with a gun. He then proceeds to tell me it wouldn't be a good place to shoot it. He just wanted to save his truck instead of my life!
As I'm watching this thing, it starts to turn its body around and moves. THE (insert bad word) thing MOVES!!!!! I don't even want to hear, "It's just a rat snake" tell that to my leg when it's rotting off, or I have a heart attack from watching it "walk" down the sidewalk. Yeah did you hear me?! IT goes DOWN THE SIDEWALK! I have now moved from the laundry room to the front door to watch it. By now I have been jumping up and down and almost started crying. I held it together for a minute and told myself It hadn't made it to the front door yet. There is still time. I called the husband, "The snake is moving! He's going down the sidewalk and into the flower garden! What if he comes up the porch!" "I'll see if I can get ahold of daddy."
I'd like to say the "Avengers" showed up at my house, and Thor with his mighty hammer bolted down from the sky and pounded it to death. It wasn't anything like that, though.
Thankfully my father-in-law showed up. I heard the garden hoe pounding the ground (how else was I going to say that part?!) I then proceeded to get up from the couch where my whole body was on so I wouldn't get ravished by this mighty beast. Put my flip-flops on and looked out the front door. He removed the head and discarded it. AWAY FROM THE HOUSE! Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I can finally say the snake did not make it up the porch, onto the door, and in the house. My legs are still on my body, and I am sitting here able to type to you all. Can you tell I am TERRIFIED of those hideous creatures?! I called the husband and as soon as he answered the words were "He killed it." I hear laughter, and then my 250lb 6'2 big burly man says "Now you know how I feel about spiders."